Valentine’s Day is *literally* one day of the year. Moving on.

This is the second draft of this post, purely because I bored even myself writing about how annoying I find those loved-up couples that will be humble bragging on social media on Valentine’s Day and yes how I’m single for the umpteenth year in a row.

I keep saying I hate Valentine’s Day but I just hate the fact that for one day a limelight is cast on those who are single and alone (even though not *actually* alone) and couples who should buy all the gifts and show off. Chill.

I mean in total honesty, I moan all the time about being single. But then *lightbulb* when I finally started dating I realised just how much time it takes up (it really does have the potential to be a full-time hobby) and how I like being able to do what I want when I want without having to think about anyone else. Selfish but meh I’ve got ages yet. Right..?

And I know you’re thinking that sounds like the typical single person answer, but when you spend a lot of time on online dating sites, as so many of us out there are doing (currently not as you will see below), you start to see the same old mugs with the same weird approach to what they think is acceptable to say to a woman.

So since I only had my first ever proper date last November and made a complete fool of myself (one glass of wine minimum from now on ahem) I thought it would be fun to share what happens before Valentine’s Day and, well, the whole year round really.

literally gif

Why are you single?

IMG_0005

This is just one of many, many messages I’ve received that says I should have no problem whatsover finding a guy. Why is that? Why do other people think that? Looks don’t mean anything when you find that confidence to actually approach someone you like and start a conversation. It’s hard, so screw you dang_1992.

Copy-and-paste

IMG_0020

I got this the first time, chuckled, looked at the guy, his age and wasn’t interested. Then he sent it again and actually a third time which I don’t have a screengrab of. But surely there are not men out there that are dumb enough to just copy-and-paste pick-up lines. Who am I kidding yes there are.

This also applies to sending me multiple messages saying the same thing in a different way. I can barely understand what you are saying Warrz due to the ridiculous nature of your shortcuts and abbreviations, why is “ure” easier to write than “you’re”?

IMG_0010

So inappropriate I don’t even know where to begin

nude dating blurDo you know what I swiped a guy on Tinder that was good looking in his 30s and liked lift selfies just like me. My first mistake. He asked for my number quite quickly, but who agrees with me with how annoying it is to constantly reply back within apps, so I gave him it. Second mistake.

He started off innocently enough asking how my day was, fair enough. Then without so much as a warning sent me the above. I did NOT ask for this stupidly inappropriate Chris, 31, from Manchester. Thank you for the block feature WhatsApp. I hope he lost my number.

Opening lines

inapprop POF
Ew. Ew. EW. I’m aware that you are entering a realm of guys who feel the need to open with a sex proposition on online dating apps, but these are just wrong and only a very small cross section of what I have received in my POF inbox in the past.

There’s way worse. I’m worried for RossyC_92 though, each to their own, but slugs?

The worst type of human

IMG_0016

Some of you may already have seen this as I posted it last week on my Instagram. As one of my friends said, this is an example of “another of the mummy’s that don’t teach their precious sons about rejection”. I don’t want to place all the blame on parents raising their children right, because somewhere along the way their perfectly nice son or daughter suddenly decided this was ok to say.

It’s hard getting rejected, I have been there so, so many times. But honestly what I don’t understand about this childish behaviour is that he said “no worries if you’re not interested”, I said I wasn’t and still gave him a perfectly valid reason as to why and he childishly responded.

You can see more treats like that if you follow ByeFelipe on Instagram, where there is a collection of responses from guys who turn hostile when rejected.

allergic to jerks

There have been times in this past year that I have cried, my friends have cried and guys have probably cried over my bitchiness too. These people are sent to test us and to make us learn and move on.

I used to really f*cking hate it when people say there are more fish in the sea because what no way there is not at all. Where is this sea you speak of because I really haven’t found it and this was absolutely me last February.

But I am five dates wiser, one year older and have friends who will always be there to tell me I am worth being picky.

text me every 30 seconds

Best Nail Tip EVER: Glitter polish removal

I’ve just been browsing nail art blogs and came across the best nail tip EVER.

Everyone hates taking glitter nail polish off, it’s like the hardest thing in the world and just takes forever using normal nail polish remover.

Well worry no longer, check out Pretty Purple Polish for the exact how to pictures, but basically instead of using your usual clear nail varnish base coat grab yourself a bottle of PVA glue and whack that on instead.

Paint it as your base coat and wait until it dries clear, put whatever glitter polish on you want and when you’re ready to take it off all you need is a small wooden stick (or probably just your other nails) and pick it off. The polish should just come off in one and there’s no longer a need to set aside three hours to try and remove your glitter for work!

That means all those glitter polishes you have can now be used for the festive season!!

Good luck with the tip, I need to get some PVA glue and then I’ll post my attempts over on my Nails Ahoy page!

 

Time for change Brad Pitt.

Now there may be other things going on in the world right now that are really important, *ahem Obama vs. Romney*, but what pops into the forefront of my mind as footage for his latest movie is released:

Brad Pitt when are you going to cut your hair?

The phase of his current hairstyle is just as long as those luscious locks and I want a shake up from Brad. It’s not just Jennifer Aniston that has been stuck in a hairstyle rut for the past two decades, I’m worried about Brad he needs a shake up heading towards his 50th birthday.

Brad as he is now, and I know he can pull the hair style off but any longer and he may start looking like this again….

We do not want a repeat of this.

Remember his Meet Joe Black hotness? Slightly Beckham too.

Back to this please Brad.

The backing dancer curse, Cheryl take note.

It just occurred to me that Cheryl (Formerly Cole) is dating her backing dancer.

The look of lasting love?

Back in 2002, that’s 10 whole years ago, J to the L-O was just getting divorced from her backing dancer husband, Cris Judd, after 218 days of marriage.

She looked so pretty, little did she know the backing dancer curse.

Then remember a couple of years earlier when Spice Girl Mel B changed her stage name to Mel G (yeah I’d forgotten this too) after marrying her backing dancer, Jimmy Gulzar? They also went on to divorce a couple of years after getting wed and having  a child together.

Mel G who?

Now I’m no genius, but what does this tell you?

Don’t get jiggy with the hired help backing dancer.

Real vs. Not Real apparently

**I wrote this last year and never got round to publishing it.

I’m back here again, at that point where I cannot decide between “real” women and models.

They are two completely different categories and it frustrates me no end that “real” women are deemed this when they are curvy and plus size. Why are they “real” and those below size 10 not?

They are real, they exist, women have natural figures that are just simply that slim. I look at models on the front cover of magazines and I enjoy seeing their gorgeous figures, lithe, toned, sexy and fit. It’s exactly what sells millions of copies.

But then Franca Sozzani editrix of Vogue Italia chose to feature three plus-size models on a cover last year as part of an ongoing campaign against pro-anorexia websites. WHAT? I’m sorry but I’m not an expert on anorexia or any related eating disorder and will never claim to be, but why are plus-size models the opposite of anorexia sufferers as it seems Sozzani is saying.

She says: “A growing number of readers are now asking to see – even in fashion magazines – a real world, made of real people who are not obsessed with staying thin, but are able instead to naturally accept and respect their bodies as they are.

“Fashion has always been blamed as one of the culprits of anorexia, and our commitment is the proof that fashion is ready to get on the frontline and struggle against the disorder.”

So instead those who are suffering from a serious illness should aspire to pile on pounds and become curvy some would say overweight because that is what is “real”? But wouldn’t gaining a smaller amount of weight to be a healthier version of yourself be much better, so say aspire to be like Brooklyn Decker or Kim Kardashian, curvy but slim women? Is this my warped version of a perfect figure or is that what I have been programmed to see as normal, as “real” to me?

Franca Sozzani looks like this by the way.

Friendsheet or Pinterest?

So Pinterest has been bubbling under the surface for a while now, a few celebrities have raved about how good it is so it’s dying to break the surface and pierce our own minds.

What’s interesting though, is that it is based in Palo Alto, California. Sound familiar? That’s the where Facebook headquarters are located.

There have been rumours that Pinterest is owned by Zuckerberg and one thing that has made this even more likely is the roll out of a new Facebook app ‘Friendsheet’.

“Mark Zuckerberg likes Friendsheet” popped up on my newsfeed about fifteen minutes ago, a quick follow through to the link and a few clicks to allow this app to access my info and lo and behold Friendsheet looks and acts the same Pinterest but the best part of it is it’s already integrated with all your Facebook photos (and your friends) that have recently posted.

What does this mean for Pinterest? Will it lose it’s edge if Friendsheet is so easily accessible and with a full ‘pinboard’ already in existence without having to add any to it. Everything you have seen in your newsfeed is now on Friendsheet in a waterfall of pictures, even more aesthetically pleasing than status updates and links.

Was Pinterest just a test, a way to see how it would work and if the Facebook public liked it? Well they must have because here is Friendsheet and it looks like Zuckerberg wants you to like it.

FYI – The site says Friendsheet was developed by Zachary Allia he lives in Palo Alto and apparently doesn’t work for Facebook or Zuckerberg… (Yeah right). 

VS